The Monster Within...

About a year and a half ago, I started hearing very positive reports on a band named Fall of Envy. Although I had been slowly but purposely disengaging from the music business, friends and acquaintances still referred bands to me in the hope that I might help, or at least pass information to people way more important than me, along with my endorsement. A friend of mine eventually sent me a video of the band.

It turns out I knew the lead singer - Mike Baker, and the drummer - Brandt Frenchman, from way back when they were in a band called Liquid Vinyl. It is truly a small world.

Fall of Envy was good. Heavy, but melodic. Just the way I like it. In March of 2008, I pulled a few strings, and helped them land a spot opening for Nonpoint at Common Grounds in Gainesville. Then, in November, they opened for Sevendust, also at Common Grounds. The shows were presented by ROCK 104, and I had a great time at both of them.

At some point last summer, I was invited to a barbecue at their house in Orlando. It was a farewell for a mutual friend who was moving away. I got to know the other guys in the band a little bit. Tommy, Brent and Greg.

When I think of Greg Harrington, I get an image of us chatting in his backyard. He had a natural charm, and was inquisitive and engaging. I liked him. Talking to him was easy. For me, at least.

This is a picture I took during the Nonpoint show. Greg is on the right, playing guitar. Mike is singing. Greg's brother Tommy is on the left in the distance.

Yesterday, Greg took his own life. I heard the news at about 8:30 last night.

I never quite know what to think at times like that. I was shocked and saddened. I immediately thought of Greg's brother Tommy, and the rest of his family, and how absolutely awful it must be for them.

And I wonder what it takes to get to that point. Fear, sadness, uncertainty, anger, loneliness, disappointment, and doubt can combine to become a cruel and relentless monster that torments the inner self. I assume we've all had moments when everything seemed hopelessly overwhelming, when the idea of death suddenly became appealing, a relief, if nothing else.

I don't know why some survive those moments, and some don't. I know there are many people who wish they could have been with Greg when his moment arrived, when the monster was winning. If I could, I would have told him to think of simple things that make every day worth living; sunset on the ocean, children laughing, playing with puppies, family and friends. Reasons to go on can always be found, even if sometimes you must search for them.

Good-bye Greg. It was nice to know you. Honestly.

To those who knew him well and loved him, hang in there. My thoughts and wishes are with you.

The weather was supposed to be terrible here today, but, as I look outside, the sun is shining. I think I'll go for a drive. For me, at least, the storm has passed.