Recently, I was working with members of a professional organization to which I belong. As part of the "membership" committee, I was helping to compose a form letter to use as a way of "personally" contacting brand new members who have just paid their dues.
Even the friendliest of form letters can still sound like a form letter, so, if I am the sender, I like to spruce it up to fit my personality. While we were fiddling around with the proper wording, I concocted this:
Dear ____________
Thank you for joining the (city name here) chapter of the (organization name here). My name is B____________ W____________, and I have included my personal contact information in case you have any questions about the organization. Bear in mind that I often leave my phone uncharged and I rarely check my e-mail. So, you're pretty much on your own, but I thought I should at least pretend to extend this courtesy to you.
Now that we have your money, we're kind of hoping that we won't see you again until this time next year. Even then, if you'd prefer to just mail in a check, that would be great.
If you actually plan to get involved with the club and its events, congratulations! There's a good chance that you'll never see me at any of these functions because I mostly prefer to hide in the back and drink beer. I don't even emerge to get napkins when I'm sloppy with the appetizers. Good God, man, that's what sleeves are for.
At some point in this century, we'll have a brand new website that will tell you everything you need to know about the (city name here) chapter. In the meantime, I recommend BabesAtTheBeach.com. I mean, seriously, would you rather see information on our next guest speaker or would you rather see thongs?
If you'd like to become a member of one of our committees, let me know which one interests you, and I'll turf you off to the chairperson of that committee. That makes it even more likely that you will leave me alone at future events, and let me enjoy my beer and gobble appetizers in peace.
If you do happen to enter our next function during the few minutes that I am near the door, please say hello quickly and then be on your merry way. If I'm at the front of the room, it's only because I haven't yet located the bar. If you expect to exchange anything more than the briefest pleasantries, you'd better be buying.
Sincerely,
B____________ W____________
What do you think?
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